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JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark?
Can you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne?
Can
you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark?
Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone?
Because
Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and
Jellicles do
When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?
Are you tense when you sense there's a storm
in the air?
Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?
Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer?
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles
do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Familiar with candle, with book and with bell?
Were you Whittington's
friend? The Pied Piper's assistant?
Have you been an alumnus of heaven or hell?
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle
songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
We can dive through
the air like a flying trapeze
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
We can run up the wall, we can swing
through the trees
We can balance on bars, we can walk on a wire
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can
and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle
songs for Jellicle cats
Can you sing at the same time in more than one key
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss
And can you (as cats do)
begin with a C
That always triumphantly brings down the house
Jellicle cats are queen of the nights
Singing
at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir
The mystical divinity of
unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang "Vivat!"
Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful
and true
To others who do what
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats
sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle
cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical
cats, dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, delphioracle cats
Skeptical cats, dispeptical
cats
Romantical cats, pedantical cats
Critical cats, parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, metaphorical cats
Statistical
cats and mystical cats
Political cats, hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, hysterical cats
Cynical cats, rabbinical
cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle bells that Jellicles ring
Jellicle sharps and Jellicle flats
Jellicle
songs that Jellicles sing
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs
for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
There's a man over there with a look of surprise,
As much as to say, "Well now how about that!"
Do I actually see
with my own very eyes
A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat?
What's a Jellicle cat? What's a Jellicle cat?
THE NAMING OF CATS
The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games
You may think at first I'm as mad
as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three different names
First of all, there's the name that the family
use daily
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey
All of them
sensible, everyday names
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter
Some for the gentlemen, some for
the dames
Such as Plato, Admetas, Electra, Demeter
But all of them sensible everyday names
But I tell you a
cat needs a name that's particular
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular
Or
spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
THE INVITATION TO THE JELLICLE BALL
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicle Cats come one come all
The Jellicle moon is shining bright
Jellicles come
to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats come out tonight
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball
Jellicle Cats are
white and black
Jellicle Cats are of moderate size
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack
Jellicle Cats have moonlit
eyes
We're quiet enough in the morning hours
We're quiet enough in the afternoon
Reserving our terpsichorean
powers
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon
Jellicle Cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball where
we all rejoice
And the Jellicle Leader will soon appear
And make what is known as the Jellicle Choice
When Old Deuteronomy,
just before dawn
Through a silence you feel you could cut with a knife
Announces the cat who can now be reborn
And
come back to a different Jellicle Life
For waiting up there is the Heaviside Layer
Full of wonders one Jellicle only
will see
And Jellicles ask because Jellices dare:
Who will it be?
Who will it be?
THE OLD GUMBIE CAT
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
Her coat is of the tabby kind with tiger stripes and leopard
spots
All day she sits upon the stair or on the step or on the mat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's
what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But . . .
When the day's hustle and bustle is done
Then
the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun
And when all the family's in bed and asleep
She tucks up her skirts to the
basement to creep
She is deeply concerned with the ways of the mice
Their behaviour's not good and their manners not
nice
So when she has got them lined up on the matting
She teaches them music, crocheting and tatting
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Hr name is Jennyanydots
Her equal would be hard to find
Se likes the warm and sunny
spots
All day she sits beside the hearth or on the bed or on my hat
She sits and sits and sits and sits
And that's
what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But . . . When the day's hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun
As she finds that
the mice will not ever keep quiet
She is sure it is due to irregular diet
And believing that nothing is done without
trying
She sets right to work with her baking and frying
She makes them a mouse-cake of bread and dried peas
And
a beautiful fry of lean bacon and cheese
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind
Her name is Jennyanydots
The curtain cord
she likes to wind and tie it into sailor knots
She sits upon the windowsill or anything that's smooth and flat
She sits
and sits and sits and sits
And that's what makes a Gumbie Cat
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
But . . .
When the day's hustle and bustle is done
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun
She thinks that
the cockroaches need employment
To prevent them from idle and wanton destroyment
So she's formed from that lot of disorderly
louts
A troop of well disciplined helpful boy scouts
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do
And she's even
created a Beetles Tattoo!
So for old Gumbie Cats let us give three cheers
On whom well ordered households depend,
it appears
Three cheers, three cheers, three cheers!
For she's a jolly good fellow!
Thank you my dears!
THE RUM TUM TUGGER
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
If you offer me pheasant I'd rather have grouse
If you put me in a house
I would much prefer a flat
If you put me in a flat then I'd rather have a house
If you set me on a mouse then I only
want a rat
If you set me on a rat then I'd rather chase a mouse
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And there
isn't any call for me to shout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything about it!
The Rum
Tum Tugger is a terrible bore
When you let me in, then I want to go out
I'm always on the wrong side of every door
And
as soon as I'm at home, then I'd like to get about
I like to lie in the bureau drawer
But I make such a fuss if I can't
get out
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
And it isn't any use for you to doubt it
For he will do as he do
do
And there's no doing anything about it!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast
My disobliging ways are
a matter of habit
If you offer me fish then I always want a feast
When there isn't any fish then I won't eat rabbit
If
you offer me cream then I sniff and sneer
But I only like what I find for myself
So you'll catch me in it right up to
my ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't
care for a cuddle
But I'll leap in your lap in the middle of your sewing
For there's nothing I enjoy like a horrible
muddle!
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle
The Rum Tum Tugger
is a curious cat
And there isn't any need for me to spout it
For he will do as he do do
And there's no doing anything
about it!
BUSTOPHER JONES
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones
In fact, he's remarkably fat
He doesn't haunt pubs - he has eight or nine clubs
For
he's the St. James's Street Cat!
He's the cat we all greet as he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious
black
No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
In the whole of St. James's
the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummel of cats
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher
Jones in white spats
In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummel of cats
And
we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to
that
And the Joint Superior Schools
For a similar reason when game is in season
I'm found not at Fox's but Blimp's
I
am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous for winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison
I give my ben'son
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's not a moment too soon
To drop in for
a drink at the Drones
When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look
full of gloom then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton
In the whole of St. James's is the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummel of cats
And we're all of us proud
to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
So,
much in this way passes Bustopher's day
At one club or another he's found
It can be no surprise that under our eyes
He
has grown unmistakably round
He's a twenty-five pounder, or I am a bounder
And he's putting on weight everyday
But
I'm so well preserved because I've observed
All my life a routine, and I'd say
I am still in the prime, I shall last
out my time
That's the word from the stoutest of cats
It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher
Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white spats!
Macavity!
MUNGOJERRIE AND RUMPELTEAZER
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians
Tight-rope
walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre
of operation
For we are incurably given to rove
We are very well known in Cornwall Gardens
In Launceston Place
and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bear
If the area window is found ajar
And the basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two comes loose on the roof
(Which
presently fails to be waterproof)
If the drawers are pulled out from the bedroom chest
And you can't find one of your
winter vests
If after supper one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls
The family will say, "It's that
horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And most of the time they leave it at that
Mungojerrie and
Rumpelteazer have a very unusual gift of the gab
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at
a smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows who like
to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation
When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds
made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
And the cook will appear from behind the
scenes
And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow,
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
For the
joint has gone from the oven like that!"
The family will say, "It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!"
And
most of the time they leave it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And
some of the time you would say it was luck
And some of the time you would say it was weather
We go through the house
like a hurricane
And no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer?
Or could you have sworn
that it mightn't be both?
And when you hear a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes a loud crash
Or
down from the library there comes a loud ping
From a vase that was commonly said to be Ming
The family will say: "Now
which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer!"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!
OLD DEUTERONOMY
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time
He's a cat who has lived many lives in succession
He was famous in proverb and
famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives
And more
- I am tempted to say ninety-nine
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And the village is proud of him in his
decline
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall
The
Oldest Inhabitant croaks
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering,
but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Old Deuteronomy sits in the street
He sits in the high street
on market day
The Bullocks may bellow, the sheep they may bleat
But the dogs and the herdsmen will turn them away
The
cars and the lorries run over the curb
And the villagers put up a notice "Road closed"
So that nothing untoward may
chance to disturb
Deuteronomy's rest when he feels so disposed
The digestive repose of that feline's gastronomy
Must
never be broken whate'er may befall
The Oldest Inhabitant croaks
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! Oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I
believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things, can it be really?
Yes! No! Ho! Hi! Oh, my eye!
My legs
may be tottery, I must go slow
And be careful of Old Deuteronomy!
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